Hello fans and blood-bowlers and welcome to week 7 of Inside The NBP! Your faithfully faithless servant Crypt Collinsworth is here to give you all the blood soaked, bone crunching action you can handle! We've got our match recaps, our players of the week, and our injury report. With only one week of games left after week 7 things are tightening up in the fight for a playoff spot!
Will we see the same coaches and teams in the playoffs this year? Or does some upstart new blood have what it takes to earn a spot in the post season! For coverage on all of week 7's action let's send it over to the Odious Orator himself Ronnie Rott!
Oh Crypt you Flatter me too much! I have been rather self conscious about my stench lately. I've noticed some days that I don't even have enough stank to wilt flowers! Such is getting old in the world of the un-dead . . anyway no one wants to listen to me ramble on they want the action!
First up we had Rolling Bones taking on Gremlins 2! A lot was on the line for Rolling Bones as a win would put them at pace in points with #Swole in the division as well as greatly strengthen a wild card chance. Gremlins 2 had other things in mind though as they paid for the services of star player Glart Smashrip Jr! Was Glart the difference maker on the pitch? With the added rat-power Gremlins 2 were able to upset Rolling bones 3 to 1!
In another showdown in the Eastern Conference with Playoff implications, #Swole took on Strong Bad's Awesome Team. A win would put either team in the driver's seat for Tar and Feather, and both teams were eager to settle the rivalry between the Clubs once and for all. In a tough battle the Awesome team came up short, losing 2 to 0 to #Swole. Putting the Frat boys firmly in control of Tar and Feather. Strong Bad's Awesome Team isn't out of it yet however as they have a chance at a Wild Card placement.
Moving over to the Deep Dark Division first up we have Loki's Toys clashing with Pine Crags Pronghorn. This commentator knows personally that the Pronghorn had not forgotten their early season loss to Loki's Toys and set out to avenge it. With injuries on their side and superior tactics, Pine Crags Pronghorn were able to get the win 2 to 1 over tough competition.
Our other match in the Deep Dark Division featured the Dominant force in the Division and of The Eastern Conference The Goth Bondage Party taking on The Green Plague. In a match that can only be described as a spectacle Goth Bondage Party picked up the win 1 to 0 whilst shredding Green Plague in the process. Goth Bondage Party have completely sewn up the division and likely the first playoff seed with another thorough demolishing of their opponent.
Heading over to the Western Conference first up we have Slingers taking on Sticks and Stones. The resurgent wood elves kept the train rolling as Sticks and Stones won the match 1 to 0 and with it takes control of the Ale and Anarchy Division! Week 8's match ups will be very interesting indeed!
In the other match of the division Varangian Guard looks to keep their playoff hopes alive as they take on the struggling Springfield Atoms. The woes continued for the Atoms as their offense was just unable to get anything going losing 1 to 0, keeping the Norsemen's hope alive for a wildcard spot.
Moving on to the Salt Works division we have Dead Men of Dunharrow taking on Dumpster Diving Lizards! The Dead Men are mathmaticaly eliminated from playoff contention and are playing for pride. Dumpster Diving Lizards however has won the division and a loss would not hurt them in any way. Just because they didn't need the win that didnt stop those homeless old lizards from fighting with the rage of a 1000 hobos as they won the match 2 to 0 against The Dead Men.
In our other Salt Works match up The Theten Second Coming looked to recover from last weeks vicious loss as they took on Club 27, hoping to deny the undead squad a win and dash their playoff hopes! Club 27 for their part took the fight to the lizards and despite the presence of star player Slibli The Theten Second Coming lost the match up 2 to 1.
Finally we settle on the Europa Conference where in the our first match Dangerous Warriors took the pitch against Brittany Privateers 2. The success the rats have had this season has allowed them to capture the division and guaranteed them a play off spot. With a win the Warriors hope to better their chances at a wild card spot. In a first ever for NBP History Glart Smashrip Jr played for a second team in one week! As he went right from his match with Gremlins 2 to joining the Privateers Squad! Again the Star may have been the difference maker as The Privateers won the match 2 to 1.
In the other Old World match up Dungeon and Dragqueens took on Pax Romana. The roman lizards fought hard to pick up the victory and keep their playoff chances alive winning 2 to 1 against Dungeon and Dragqueens.
Finally we had over to Beheaded Kings where first Kiss of Death took on Tree Huggers Affiliated. Coming into the match Kiss of Death had firm control over the division and a win would guarantee a play off spot. The Tree Huggers would love to deny the filhty beasts their dreams. However it was not to be as Kiss of Death kept up their rampage winning 2 to 0 against Tree Huggers Affiliated.
Lastly we have Bootsers taking on Rockport Redbacks. Neither team is in contention for a post season appearance but they both want to show they have the grit required to compete in NBP. After a hard fought match Bootsers picked up the win 2 to 1.
Talk about crazy action! We have 5 teams fighting for wild card play off spots! Stay tuned to week 8 to watch all the great match ups and determine who will qualify for the Nuffle Challenge Series! With that I send it back over to Crypt!
Excellent job Ronnie! I can't wait to check out all the week 8 match ups with play off implications! But next we send it over to John Maddening with the Players of the Week!
All right Crypt thanks! Here we go fans another edition of Players of the Week! It was tough to pick the stand out players this week as their were a lot of stellar performances in this weeks match ups! But I did the tough job that was needed to pick the best of the best!
First up we for the Player of the Week East the award goes to Pikachu! Gremlins 2's gutter runner who scored 2 touchdowns during Gremlins 2's upset victory over Rolling Bones.
Now for the Player of the Week West we hand the award to Dumpster Diving Lizards Treasure Hunter! With 11 SPP from winning the MVP and scoring 2 touchdowns Treasure Hunter is the key skink in Dumpster Diving Lizards dynamic offense!
Now for the Player of the Week Europa the award goes to Bootsers Skink Gortilt who scored 2 touchdowns in Bootsers win over the Rockport Redbacks!
Now the moment you've all been waiting for out there as we give out the award for Player of the League! I think its got to be obvious that the award this week goes to Treasure Hunter! How will Dumpster Diving Lizards management reward their star player? Shiny objects? Meal worms?
That does it for the Players of The Week! Let's congratulate all our winners again for excelling at this sport we call blood bowl! Back to you Crypt!
Riveting stuff John! We are getting to the end of the show and you fans know what that means! The injury report with Howard Co-Hell! Let's send it over to Howard now!
Thank you so much Crypt! Hello fans I'm Howard Co-Hell and you are tuning in to another edition of Inside The NBP's Injury Report. As you all know by now we organize the injuries by severity from badly hurt to miss next game, to niggling injury, to permanent stat downs, to death! We will also give out the weekly award for bloodiest game! Let's get down to the dirty details!
Badly Hurt – Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler from Rolling Bones; Remy, Hihlutch, and Speedy Gonzales from Gremlins 2; Eilifbera from Loki's Toys; Glurak, Ugroth Eat'Spleen and Snakrag from Green Plague; Halalu and Amalerin (journey elf) from Sticks and Stones; Stan The Boy Taylor from Springfield Atoms; Haltof and Asger from Varangian Guard; Hobo #10 and The Stanky One from Dumpster Diving Lizards; Ospakroddr from Club 27; John Travolta from The Theten Second Coming; Zoraere, Berethnost and Coeda (journey elf) from Treehuggers Affiliated; Rikkit Dal Shin from Kiss of Death; Kai'idel'Aube and Quetcuaqslat from Bootsers; Bruce Edderkop from Rockport Redbacks.
Miss Next Game – Homster Runner (beastman) from Strong Bad's Awesome Team; Broseph Staln from #Swole; Feniri, Ulver The Hunter, and Oren from Loki's Toys; Ulgroth'BreakNub from Green Plague; Drederick Tatum from Springfield Atoms; Hitbam from Brittany Privateers 2; Nerva from Pax Romana.
Stat Downs – Trash Picker from Dumpster Diving Lizards with Strength down; Yesi Masquar from Kiss of Death with Armor Down.
Dead – Homsar From Strong Bad's Awesome Team; Mornail from Green Plague; Garnon Larenglnaeli from Dungeon and Dragqueens.
That does it for injury report! That last bit of business we have is of course the Bloodiest Game of the week! This week the award goes to the Goth Bondage Party vs Green Plague Match. Featuring 5 injuries including a miss next game and a death! The injuries were completely one-sided though as Goth Bondage Party came out of the match unscathed!
That does it for me let's send it back to Crypt to wrap things up!
Thank you Howard! Great job with the injury report as always! For all my colleagues today I am Crypt Collinsworth saying thank you for tuning in and remember to always Praise Nuffle!