Hello, fans and blood bowlers! Crypt Collinsworth here. Thanks for tuning in to another edition of Inside the NBP! Entering our 6th week, we resume divisional play. For the match results, players of the week, and my personal favorite, the injury report, let’s send it over first to Ronnie Rott. Ronnie?
Thanks, Crypt. With the stakes raising ever higher, the last three games of division play will determine who gets the invite to the Nuffle Challenge Series. It’s practically anybody’s race.
Starting in the East’s Tar & Feather division, our first matchup featured the drunk and disorderly boys from #Swole squaring off against the unruly undead Rolling Bones. Both teams were looking to a return to form after suffering some losses in intra-conference play, and this match was a nail biter. When the final whistle blew, the fans were looking at a 1-1 draw that saw both teams score defensive touchdowns.
In the other division game, Strong Bad's Awesome Team clashed with Gremlins 2 in a rematch of week 2. With a rocky start, the Skaven gave up the ball early in the first half, never quite recovered. Despite a tenacious effort, the Awesome Team concentrated on squashing the nuffle loving squeaks out of the Skaven on their way to a 1-0 victory.
Over in the Deep Dark Divison, the Pine Crags Pronghorn faced the Goth Bondage Party. In a match that was practically over before it started, the Bondage Party dominated the wood elves in a 3-1 lashing.
Closing the East conference was a battle between Loki’s Toys and The Green Plague. Both teams managed to score early, but neither team could muster a second successful drive and the game closed as a 1-1 stalemate.
In the West’s Ale & Anarchy division, we first look at the game between Sticks and Stones and the Springfield Atoms. In what must have felt like a bout of deja vu of week , the Atoms just could not find an answer to the wood elves scoring threats on their way to a 4-0 loss.
Next up, the stalwart Season 1 Champions the Varangian Guard faced the upstart undead Slingers. Despite an impressive number of casualties and a solid opening drive, the Guard could not find the end zone and suffered a 1-0 loss to the divisional leader Slingers.
Heading over to the Salt Works division, the Dumpster Diving Lizards took on Club 27. The shambling undead just could not cobble together an offensive drive losing 2-0 to the formidable lizardman team.
To close out the Western conference, the Dead Men of Dunharrow confronted the Theten Second Coming. In a brutal effort, the game actually finished in a controversial 3-1 victory for the Dead Men after the lizardmen could not field a team for the last turn of the game.
Over in the Europa conference, we first look to the Old World division. Our first match saw division favorite, Brittany Privateers 2 take on the Pax Romana. In a tense back and forth match, neither time to wrestle a victory away and the game was drawn at 1-1.
The second matchup in the division saw the Dungeon & Dragqueens battling the Dangerous Warriors. Even a Chaos Warrior interception couldn’t stem the Elven onslaught with D&D securing a 2-1 victory after a very aggressive first half.
Closing out the week, we head to the Beheaded Kings division for the last two games. Tree Huggers Affiliated were able to cobble together a 2-1 victory over the Bootsers in the face of 3 fallen elves.
And the Kiss of Death maintained their record with a 2-1 grind against the Rockport Redbacks as the Knock Outs mounted against the humans.
That’s a wrap on the week 6 recap without any futher ado, let’s throw it back over to Crypt.
Thanks, Ronnie! Why don’t we check in with our old pal John Maddening with our players of the week?
Hey, Crypt? I’m here today to tell you the the league’s players of week 6. And by that, I mean to tell you the players that were essential in each conference and from there I will say which of those three I deem to be the league wide impact player of the week!
Starting in the Eastern conference, let's highlight Goth Bondage Party's Carsamba. Despite being a recent addition, she made her presecence known scoring 2 TDs in her first effort.
Over in the Western conference, the award goes to Halalu of Sticks and Stones for his most Elvish of contributions in their game scoring 3 TDs and completing 1 pass.
As for the Europa conference, it was a tight race, but the edge goes to Rambo of Tree Huggers Affiliated for his tenacity against the Bootsers.
Of the three players selected, the NBP Impact Player of the Week has to be Rambo. Willed on by the death of three of his elven brothers, he managed a T16 leap to secure the win for the Tree Huggers. Kudos to Rambo!
Finally, with our injury report and bloodiest game of the week, we turn to Howard Co-Hell.
Hello, fans. This is Howard Co-Hell and you all know that I'm here to bring you both the injury report and the bloodiest game of the week.
Alright let's start off with the injury report.
Badly Hurt – Brotato Chip (#Swole); Steven Tyler (Rolling Bones); Hihlutch, Biggy Rat and the Brain (Gremlins 2); Fyimar and Aethyth (Pine Crags Pronghorn); Ewan the Barber (Slingers); Halayne (Sticks and Stones); Gristle McThornBody (Dumpter Diving Lizards); Amy Winehouse (Club 27);John Travolta, Punch RockGroin, Hingle McCringleberry and Tom Cruise (Theten Second Coming); Broie-gor (Kiss of Death)
Miss Next Game – Pebblegrinder (Slingers); Xenu and Emilio Estevez (Theten Second Coming); Janice Joplin (Club 27); Lhyda Dresseur (Brittany Privateers 2); Draco and Trajan(Pax Romana)
Niggling Injury – None
Serious Injury – Limbsmasher -MA (Slingers); Julien the Virgin - AG (Dead Men of Dunharrow); Lanlaithion Rololoth - AG (Dungeon & Dragqueens); Scalplitch Barbe-Rouge -ST (Brittany Privateers 2); Tar Antiula -AV (Rockport Redbacks)
Dead – The Poopsmith (Strong Bad’s Awesome Team); Mighty Mouse (Gremlins 2); Lazyfart (The Green Plague); Spinecrawler (Slingers); Doug Fresh and Chris Masterson (Theten Second Coming); Hobo #5 (Dumpster Diving Lizards); Etheinil, Fyandril and Trieleyl (Tree Huggers Affiliated)
That does it for the injury report, on to the Bloodiest Game of the Week!
In what many saw as a blood pact to Khorne himself, Coach ChaseJJ of the Dead Men of Dunharrow ordered his boys to crush, kill and destroy. When the final whistle blew, the Theten Second Coming had suffered 2 dead, 2 MNG and 4 Badly Hurt injuries (Along with 3 Knock Outs to clear the pitch). The Theten’s Doug Fresh did manage to inflict a Serious Injury before he met his demise, though.
That does it for me here. Back to you, Crypt!
Thank you, Howard! For all my colleagues here in the studio this has been another edition of Inside the NBP, I'm Crypt Collinsworth thanking you for tuning in and remember to always praise Nuffle!