Nuffle Be Praised Weekly Recap. Week 1

Hello, fans and bloodthirsty blood-bowlers! I'm Crypt Collinsworth and my colleagues and I are here to bring you the Nuffle Be Praised Pro Weekly Recap! The premiere recap show for Nuffle Be Praised. We are going to bring you all the NBP Pro action you can handle. Featuring match recaps, news, players of the week awards and the injury report!

Without further ado let's get the recap started!

The first coin toss of the season!

The first coin toss of the season!

We start our coverage in the Eastern Conference North. Where Snakbar7's Arctic Underoos Norse squad went up against  Mariogodzilla's Sticks and Stones Wood Elf battalion. The Underoos were able to pick up the 2 to 1 victory over the wood elves and exacted a heavy toll on the wood elf bench in the process.

A Risky Blitz with the Ball carrier!

A Risky Blitz with the Ball carrier!

Next we make a quick stop at The Cheat's House where Stimee's Strongbad's Awesome Team took on DaltMC's #Swole. The match up between the lovable Chaos goofballs versus the drunken dwarf squad ended deadlocked 1 to 1 with a promise of a brutal rematch.

Spike magazine somehow predicts the event before it happens.

Spike magazine somehow predicts the event before it happens.

After week one, Snakbar7's Arctic Underoos have the division lead, though #Swole and Strongbad's Awesome Team are hot on his trail. It's far too early to count any team out but starting the season with a loss and and suffering serious injuries may present challenges for Sticks and Stones as the season progresses.

Our next game recap takes us to Eastern Conference South. Bortbot18's Goth Bondage Party took the fight to Fatmarc4lyfe1's Odin's Finest. In a tough back and forth contest, the leather-clad Dark Elves were able to outplay the Norse warriors and end the match with a 2 to 1 victory.

A GBP dark elf makes a dash with the pigskin.

A GBP dark elf makes a dash with the pigskin.

The second match in Eastern Conference South brought us CommieCOZY's Genetically Engineered Superelf High (GESH) against Hezekiah87's The Green Plague. Truly, it was a tale of 2 halves. In the first, the Plague couldn't get any armor breaks, in the second, GESH couldn't stay on their feet. The result: a 1 to 1 tie. It'll be interesting to see what happens when these teams meet again!

0011 passes the ball over a wall of Orc opposition!

0011 passes the ball over a wall of Orc opposition!

After our first week, the Goth Bondage Party finds themselves on the top of the division. I'm sure they would say they find themselves used to being the tops. The middle of the division is anchored by GESH and The Green Plague. Odin's Finest is in the hole after week one but the fierce Norsemen have only begun to fight!

We move our way onto the Western conference where first we will cover the games of the North Division. Jonny_mal's Springfield Atoms with tag-line - ”Up and at them!” versus Dymntd's Ol' Angry Ears. In our lowest scoring game of the week The Springfield Atom's took the victory 1 to 0.

"They're playing the elephant song again, I love that one"

"They're playing the elephant song again, I love that one"

The other game of the Western Conference North was our featured Thursday Night Blood-bowl match! MidwayMonster_01's Varangian Guard defeated MrB1129's House Verindath 2 to 1. For a more in-depth recap check our news archives!

The Yhetee sunning himself on a hot day.

The Yhetee sunning himself on a hot day.

At the completion of week one, the Western Conference North is split evenly in half. The Springfield Atoms and The Varangian Guard rest at the top while the dark elf teams of House Verindath and Ol' Angry Ears must claw back into prominence.

Our last two recaps take us to the Western Conference South where in our first match up Nollix's Aztecs took on ChaseJJ's The Peasant Brigade. In a brutal match up the lizards were able to secure the 2 to 0 victory leveraging a stellar performance of their vicious Kroxigor, Cipactli.

The Lineup from The Usual Suspects, if The Usual Suspects had names like Mule Mike and Plow Pete.

The Lineup from The Usual Suspects, if The Usual Suspects had names like Mule Mike and Plow Pete.

Our last game of the week brings us a Dark elf against Dark elf showdown as Double Pastis' Dark Theory took on Silaninil's World Wide Webz. The Webz scored the injuries but the Theory had the touchdowns taking the game with a 2 to 0 victory.

The only place you can see Elf on Elf action without feeling awkard afterward.

The only place you can see Elf on Elf action without feeling awkard afterward.

Much like the Western Conference North the Southern division is split. With the European contingent Nollix and Double Pastis on top. ChaseJJ and Silaninil will need to step up and show them that North America wont be pushed around!

This has been Crypt Collinsworth with the weekly match recap! Stay tuned while we head over to the player of the week awards with John Maddening!

John Maddening is afraid of photography so please accept this photo of cheerleaders.

John Maddening is afraid of photography so please accept this photo of cheerleaders.

Greetings, fans and coaches! I'm John Maddening and I'm here to highlight NBP-Pro's Players of the Week. Here is how the players of the week awards work. The selection is based upon the players' on pitch performances for the week in review. We will choose 3 players today. The first 2 choices will be awarded to stand out players in their conference and they will be awarded the “Conference Player of the Week” title.

We will then select the weeks overall standout player for “League-wide Player of the Week”. Selection for league wide player of the week disqualifies that player from also winning the “Conference Player of the Week” title. Now with that out of the way lets get to the awards!

Our first award goes to Manson Reznor of The Goth Bondage Party, our Eastern Conference Player of the Week!

Manson Reznor lets NOTHING stand in his way.

Manson Reznor lets NOTHING stand in his way.

Manson earned the honors by scoring the opening touchdown of the match and by viciously injuring one of Odin's Finest. This fierce dark elf is on the rise and will be a player to watch this season

Manson scores proving he isn't "Disposable".

Manson scores proving he isn't "Disposable".

Next up we award the title for Western Conference Player of the week. We would like to congratulate Camlos from World Wide Webz!

Kicks as strong as Chuck Norris and as good an actor to boot!

Kicks as strong as Chuck Norris and as good an actor to boot!

Camlos earned the honor by removing 2 players from Dark Theory from the pitch with swift and injuring deadly roundhouse kicks.

With Karate, Camlos will kick your ass. From here to right over there!

With Karate, Camlos will kick your ass. From here to right over there!

Now the moment you've been waiting for as we award the League Player of the week award! This award comes as little surprise and is awarded to The Aztec's Unstoppable Kroxigor Cipactli.  

As if Saurus' aren't scary enough, here is their big brother.

As if Saurus' aren't scary enough, here is their big brother.

Cipactli earned his award by commiting 3 injuries against the peasant brigade and winning the games MVP award! 

The Krox never tired of crunching on peasants.

The Krox never tired of crunching on peasants.

I would like to again congratulate our players of the week! They are the first in a line of many blood bowl athletes who will be honored for their exploits! Now I'd like to send it on over to Howard Cohell to close out the weekly recap with the Nuffle Be Praised Injury Report!

The words every coach loves and hates seeing.

The words every coach loves and hates seeing.

Hello, everyone, this is Howard Cohell. Somehow, I have found myself relegated to the Nuffle Be Praised Injury Report. I think I should have Crypt Collinsworth's job (I need to fire my agent) . . . Anyway welcome to the week one injury report.

Here is where we have all the gruesome details about all the weeks injuries. We will list injuries by severity starting with the badly hurts and going all the way to DEATH! I don't know why I felt the need to say that in all caps, I think for the added emphasis. Well no matter onto the roll-call of the maimed!

First we have the badly hurts. These players were just shaken up a bit and will be able to make the pitch for week 2. Agnioddr from Odin's Finest, 3LF-0011 from GESH, Rakr The Scornful from Arctic Underoos, Strong Mad and The Poopsmith From Strong Bad's Awesome Team, Mule Mitch, Sandal Sam, Kart Cater and Sickle Sam from The Peasant Brigade, Coatlicue from the Aztecs, Mesmal from Ol' Angry Ears, Anbaire from Dark Theory, Skeld and Buliwyf from The Varangian Guard.

A totally different picture of a norseman falling.

A totally different picture of a norseman falling.

Quite a lot of bruised players it seems. I bet the players on the next list wish they were on the last one! Here we have our Miss next game list! These players were hurt so badly they have to sit the next one out. Ketill Dufthak from Odin's Finest, 3LF-001 from GESH, Gausshain from Sticks and Stones, The Brofessional from #Swole, Homestar Runner from Strongbad's Awesome Team, Plow Pete from The Peasants Brigade, Caleos from World Wide Webz.

Our next batch of unfortunate players fell victim to the Niggling Injury bug. A particularly insidious type of injury, the niggling all but guarantees that the player will be injured again! 3LF-0005 from GESH, Etheniss from Sticks and Stones, Baked Brotato from #Swole.

After the nigglings come the permanent stat downs. Players facing one of these handicaps usually find themselves receiving a pink slip from the team. Iyfil from Dark Theory armor down, Ragnar from Varangian Guard armor down.

Finally we must toll the bell for those who have shuffled off their mortal coil and have gone to the big blood-bowl in the sky. Amalath from Sticks and Stones, Andnil from Dark Theory. We salute these brave athletes who have given it all to bring glory to blood-bowl and to Nuffle!

We have one last Award to give and that is for the “Nuffle Be Praised Bloodiest Game of the Week!” This week's award goes to the Aztecs vs Peasant Brigade matchup. 6 Injuries overall! 5 to the Brigade and one to an Aztec skink! The kroxigor was unstoppable on the pitch maiming and mangling all the lowly peasants!

This image could be mistaken for an episode of Game of Thrones

This image could be mistaken for an episode of Game of Thrones

Well that wraps it up folks. This has been the first week's edition of the Nuffle Be Praised weekly recap! Thank you all for your time and remember Praise Nuffle!