Inside The NBP Wild-Card Week

Hello fans and Blood bowlers and welcome to another edition of Inside The NBP! The highest rated weekly recap show for the number one league in all of professional Blood Bowl Nuffle Be Praised! I'm your host Crypt Collinsworth and we have a great slate of post season action to bring to you, including 2 play off match recaps! Let's Start Things off with coverage of “The Blurst of The Blurst” tournament!

The first coin toss of the post season

The first coin toss of the post season

In our first match up of the “Blurst of The Blurst” Fatmarc4lyfe's Odin's Finest was set to take on Mariogodzilla's Sticks and Stones. Unfortunately The Norse squad did not show up for the match! NBP officials spent the better part of the week trying to contact Odin's Finest to facilitate the match. After repeated failed attempts the league had no choice but to award the match and winnings to Sticks and Stones! Sticks and Stones will now advance in “The Blurst of The Blurst” to take on Stimee's Strong Bad's Awesome Team!

Please accept this consolation photo of The NBP Cheerleaders

Please accept this consolation photo of The NBP Cheerleaders

In our first match up to actually take place in “The Blurst of The Blurst” ChaseJJ's The peasant brigade took on MRB1129's House Verindath. While both teams left it all out on the Pitch in an attempt to secure passage to the semi finals of the “Blurst of The Blurst” The peasant brigade were able to steal the win with a late match square, taking the win 1 to 0. With that win, The peasant brigade advances to take on Dymntd's Ol' Angry Ears!

Richard “Snake-Eyes” King scoring the game winning touchdown

Richard “Snake-Eyes” King scoring the game winning touchdown

That does it for the opening round of the “Blurst of the Blurst” now let's take a look at the NBP Bowl Series! The first match of The Bowl Series, known as The Mediocre Bowl East, took place between Hezekiah87's Green Plague vs Snakbar7's Arctic Underoos. In a back and forth brawl where neither side gave any ground, Arctic Underoos were able to take advantage of key injuries on the side of Green Plague and win the match 2 to 1. With this victory Arctic Underoos earns a place in the Mediocre Mega Bowl taking place next week!

Black Orc Braduk Breaks'leg going down to injury

Black Orc Braduk Breaks'leg going down to injury

The other match in the NBP Bowl Series featured Silaninil's World Wide Webz taking on Josiah_Frost's Pax Romana in the Mediocre Bowl West; a rematch from last weeks season ending match. In their first meeting, Pax Romana caused 3 deaths to World Wide Webz squad. Though World Wide Webz fought valiantly, the shortage of talent from last week's game was too great of an adversity to bear as they feel 3 to 0 to Pax Romana. With their victory, Pax Romana will now face Arctic Underoos in the Mediocre Mega Bowl!

Pax Romana's Nerva scoring his first touchdown

Pax Romana's Nerva scoring his first touchdown

Now we get to the main event for the week! In the first of our double header play off action, CommieCOZY's Genetically Engineered Superelf High (GESH) took on Bortbot18's Goth Bondage Party in the Eastern Conference Wild-card match. Let's go down to the pitch and check out the action!

It's a crisp and clear day here in GESH park as the home team gets set to take on those shifty-eyed dark elf perverts The Goth Bondage Party! This match up is of course a rematch of last weeks match. Goth Bondage Party prevailed in that match up, winning the division and giving them an edge going into the match! Let's take a look at the squads.

GESH looks eager to erase the stain of last week's performance against Goth Bondage Party. I've heard that if GESH doesn't win this match up their financial backers may shut down the incubation lab and decommission the team!

Here are the leather clad bruisers of Goth Bondage Party! Featuring two strength four bruisers with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery, Goth Bondage Party has been an absolute force in the Eastern Conference South, winning their division and earning their spot with an intense, physical version of dark elf ball.

Enough introductions, let's get the match underway! GESH has won the coin toss and has chosen to receive the ball to start the match. Goth Bondage Party set up in an unorthodox defense in preparation for the kick off! Without warning the members of Goth Bondage Party exchange looks and rush the line of scrimmage in a blitz!

Goth Bondage Party takes full advantage of the Blitz, wasting no time knocking out GESH players and making a play for the ball. GESH tries to recover and make something of the opening possession but can't seem to earn Nuffle's favor, failing dodges that should be simple for a high elf team and not getting any armor breaks against Goth Bondage Party. The Bondage Party however can't seem to do anything wrong, getting armor break after armor break and injuring the first of GESH's Players.

With the numbers advantage firmly on their side, Goth Bondage Party are able to control the pitch and stall out the half. The best way to keep a High-elf team from scoring is to keep their offense from being able to take possession. After stalling out most of the half, Goth Bondage party scores the first touchdown.

Leaving any amount of time on the clock is always going to leave opportunity for an elf team to score. GESH used the short time they had, to get the ball from their Strong-Armed thrower into the hands of 0005 to tie the game going into the half.

Goth Bondage Party will receive the ball to start the second half. With plenty of time left to play will GBP go for the stall and try to win 2 to 1, or will they score quick and count on their defense and the grace of Nuffle to maintain control of the game? Unfortunately for GESH it doesn't seem to matter what Goth Bondage Party had planned, as every single block they throw is succeeding and every single armor break seems to be resulting in a knock out or injury. With little opposition left on the field, Goth Bondage Party are able to easily score a second time making it a 2 to 1 game.

Though there is still some time left for GESH to tie it, the fact that they are outnumbered almost two to one on the pitch means that they will need a miracle. Of course since we've established that Nuffle isn't being kind to GESH they don't seem to be able to capitalize on the possession.

The remaining players on the pitch are easily overwhelmed by Goth Bondage Party giving up another touchdown and losing the match with a 3 to 1 score line.

With that Bortbot18's Goth Bondage Party wins The Eastern Conference Wild-card match and advances to the Eastern Conference Finals to take on DaltMC's #Swole!

Let's head over to coverage of our other play off game off the week as Double Pastis' Dark Theory is set to take on Jonny_Mal's Springfield Atoms!

The age old question of Dark Elf or Human will be answered on the pitch today as Dark Theory line up for the team presentation.

Let's take a look at the lovable denizens of Springfield as The Atoms line up for the coin toss against Dark Theory.

Dark Theory as won the toss and will receive the ball to start the match. Even though the game is in Dark Theory's home field the screaming visting fans for Springfield Atoms are so loud they inspire The Atoms to another re-roll.

Dark Theory starts things off with a simple elf screen and semi cage. The more agile of the NBP dark elf teams, Dark Theory looks to avoid too many clashes with the stronger Atoms. However It doesn't take any time at all for the Springfield Atoms to lay out a member of Dark Theory. Taking out witch elf Celirthea.

After losing Celirthea, Dark Theory looks to regroup and get a touchdown on the board. Setting up an attempt at a touchdown pass, Fimlor is positioned in the end-zone ready to receive a pass from Kyrriorn.

Fimlor is able to keep hold of the pass from Kyrriorn! Putting the first touchdown on the board and putting the pressure on The Springfield Atoms to respond!

The Springfield Atoms are going to have to ratchet up the pressure if they want to get on the scoreboard. They will receive the ball in the second half and will look to continue to use their physical presence to open up opportunities for them. Lets get back to the action!

The Springfield Atoms began to march down the field in the second half, getting a few key knock outs along the way. With playoff advancement on the line, Springfield Atoms even commit a foul! Injuring Iyfil and getting a player ejected!

Even though the Atoms lost a player to the foul action, removing Iyfil was the only obstacle preventing them from getting the ball to Apu in the end zone for their first touchdown of the match!

With the score tied 1 to 1, Dark Theory will need to control the pitch to score the gaming winning touchdown and run up the rest of the clock to prevent Springfield Atoms from taking the match into overtime. The Atoms had different ideas in mind, killing Dark Theory's Anbaire and taking possession of the ball!


After gaining possession, The Atoms work to get the ball to Homer Simpson and put him out of reach of Dark Theory's players! With time running out, Homer scores on turn 16, putting Springfield Atoms up 2 to 1.

With only one turn left to play Dark Theory simply doesn't have the time to score! Springfield Atoms are going to the Western Conference finals to take on Midway_Monster01's Varangian Guard!

That does it for the match recaps for the week, but don't go away yet we've got plenty of recap action still left, let's head on over to my colleague John Maddening and The Players of The Week!

Thank you Crypt! Hello fans this John Maddening and I'm here to present the players of the week awards! Remember, the selection is based upon the players' on pitch performances for the week in review. We will choose 3 players. The first 2 awards will be to stand out players in their conference and they will be awarded the “Conference Player of the Week” title. We then select the week's overall stand-out player for “League-wide Player of the Week”. Selection for league wide player of the week disqualifies that player from also winning the “Conference Player of the Week” title. Now with that out of the way lets get to the awards!

Our first award for “Conference Player of the week East” goes to Arctic Underoos runner Eilifbiorn! Eilifbiorn earned the honors, with 2 touchdowns and a pass in Arctic Underoos Bowl victory over The Green Plague!

Arctic Underoos talented runner is ready to bring the fight to Pax Romana!

Arctic Underoos talented runner is ready to bring the fight to Pax Romana!

Next up the award for “Conference Player of the week West” goes to Springfield Atoms Stan “The Boy” Taylor, who caused both an injury and a death in Springfield Atom's play off win against Dark Theory.

Will Stan “The Boy” Taylor be the difference maker in the rubber match between Varangian Guard and Springfield Atoms?

Will Stan “The Boy” Taylor be the difference maker in the rubber match between Varangian Guard and Springfield Atoms?

Lastly we give the award for “League-wide Player of the Week”. This week the award goes to Pax Romana's slippery skink Nerva! Who scored 2 touchdowns during Pax Romana's Rout of World Wide Webz!

Nerva is out to prove Vespasian isn't the only talent skink on Pax Romana.

Nerva is out to prove Vespasian isn't the only talent skink on Pax Romana.

That does it for the “Players of the Week” awards! Let's head over to to Howard Co-Hell and the injury report!

Hello fans and Blood thirsty blood-bowlers! This is Howard Co-Hell and I'm here to bring you The Nuffle Be Praised injury report and the post-season week 2 preview! Let's get down to business with the injury report! As you fans know by now injuries come in five flavors! Badly hurt, miss next game, niggling injury, permanent stat down and DEATH! Let's take a look at the report

Badly Hurt – Tiago Verindath and Zaknafein from House Verindath, Sickle sam from peasant brigade, Braduk Breaklegz and Flabzog from Green Plague, Grimrvor journeyman from Arctic Underoos, 3LF-0004 from GESH, Morris Szyslak from Springfield Atoms, and Iyfil from Dark Theory.

Miss Next Game – Loghain The Laughing Man from House Verindath, Julius from Pax Romana, Caelfin from World Wide Webz, and Celirthea from Dark Theory.

Niggling Injury – none

Stat Down – Uegfang from Green Plague with Agility down, 3LF-0008 from GESH with movement down.

Death – Korhil journey-elf from World Wide Webz, and Anbaire from Dark Theory.

Next up we highlight this week's bloodiest game of the week! Admittedly the matches this week weren't too bloody so we had slim choices to pick from. However after much deliberation we have decided to award bloodiest game to The Springfield Atoms vs Dark Theory match, featuring 4 casualties, including a miss next game and a death!

Now let's move on to the post-season week 2 preview! First we will take a look at the “Blurst of The Blurst” losers tournament! We have two matches this week in the Blurst of The Blurst. In the Blurst of The Blurst Eastern final Strong Bad's Awesome Team will take on Sticks and Stones. This will be the third time Sticks and Stones meet up! The first two matches ended in a tie! Which team will have what it takes to win the match and earn a spot in the Blurst of The Blurst Finals!

In the western final of The Blurst of The Blurst The peasant brigade will take on Ol' Angry Ears! Who will win the match up between the fouling brets and the FOUL Dark elves? The winner will earn the right to challenge the winner of the Eastern Finals in the Blurst of the Blurst Finals! The winner of the Blurst of The Blurst will win a 10 dollar play-station gift card.

Next up we have a preview of the Mediocre Mega Bowl! The Arctic Underoos will square off with Pax Romana to determine the winner of our Mediocre Bowl Series! Who will win the mediocre mega bowl and earn a 20 dollar play-station gift card!

Finally this week we take a look at the 2 conference final matches in “The Nuffle Challenge Series”. In the Eastern Conference Finals #Swole will take on Goth Bondage Party! Can the undefeated bros of the #Swole frat fight back the challenge from the elite of the southern conference GOTH Bondage Party? Tune in Monday Sept 5th Labor Day at 5 pm eastern/2 pm pacific!

Lastly we take a look at our other conference final match up as Varangian Guard Takes on The Springfield Atoms. The Guard and The Atoms have met twice before this season. The first match ended in a tie, with neither team getting the advantage. Varangian Guard were victorious in the rematch. Can Springfield Atoms win the rubber match? OR will Varangian Guard stay undefeated en-route to the Nuffle Challenge Series Championship match?! Tune in Monday Sept 5th Labor Day at 7 pm eastern/4 pm pacific.

That does it for the the Wild Card edition of Inside The NBP! For Crypt Collinsworth and John Maddening I'm Howard Co-Hell! Thanks for tuning in and remember to always praise Nuffle!