Inside The NBP Season 3 Week 1

Hello fans and fellow Blood-Bowlers! It's that time of the year again; another season of Nuffle Be Praised Pro, which means another season of Inside The NBP! As always I am your faithless servant of all things Blood Bowl Crypt Collinsworth! I'm here with all the unusual suspects to bring you all the action from our season 3 kick-off! We've got a jam packed edition this week; featuring match recaps, our players of the week, and of course the injury report featuring the Bloodiest Game of the Week! Let's kick things off right now with the week 1 match recaps with our puke-itzer prize winning correspondent Ronnie Rott!

Ronnie spent the off-season lobbying for reinstatement to join one of the Nurgle Squads but his Nurgle's Rot is so severe that no league official was willing to meet with him in person.

Ronnie spent the off-season lobbying for reinstatement to join one of the Nurgle Squads but his Nurgle's Rot is so severe that no league official was willing to meet with him in person.

Thanks for that warm introduction Crypt, but I will have you know it's 2-timer puke-itzer prize winner try not to forget it! Let's get right down to how I earned those awards with our week 1 game recaps! We will cover all 12 pro games from week one and as always we start off in the Eastern Conference in The Tar and Feather Division.

Our first match of Tar and Feather featured 2-time division winners those drunken dwarves of #Swole coached by DaltMC taking on Blue6Maxx's New Nurgle Squad STD Pros! Last Season Blue6Maxx fielded skaven in the bash heavy Tar and Feather division, as expected it did not go well. Now back with bruisers of his own, Blue6Maxx looked to get revenge for all those dead rats. However despite the increased punching power, STD Pros were not able to close the deal against #Swole leading to a 1 to 1 tie.

STD Pros Pestigor laying the smack down on Brospector Gadget, knocking him out with a miss next game injury.

STD Pros Pestigor laying the smack down on Brospector Gadget, knocking him out with a miss next game injury.

Our second match of Tar and Feather was between newcomer JustGreaves and his Orc squad The Stinking Geysers vs Stimee and The Newly Rechristened Strong Bad's Awesome Team featuring Herman Menderchuk! After last season things were looking grim for SBAT, grevious injuries and team value issues caused them to fire a number of players in the off-season and to trade for a replacement to Stinkoman, enter Herman Menderchuk traded from development squad The Kids in The Hall. SBAT's vicious Chaos Warriors bashed the Orcs up and down the field, taking advantage of the numbers game to win 2 to 0 and making Herman Menderchuk's debut a success!

Homestar Runner Beast-man after scoring his first of two touchdowns in SBAT's rout of Stinking Geysers.

Homestar Runner Beast-man after scoring his first of two touchdowns in SBAT's rout of Stinking Geysers.

Next we check in on our other Eastern Conference Division The Deep Dark, In our first match newcomer KnockoutJoe and his Bretonnian Kingdom of the Misfit took on Bortbot18 and his Goth Bondage Party. Many astute fans consider Goth Bondage Party to be the most talented team in NBP to have not won The Nuffle Challenge Series. In season one they lost in the Eastern Conference Final to #Swole. In Season 2 they put in a 7 win and 1 tie performance, only to lose to Pax Romana in the same semi-final match! There is no doubt Goth Bondage Party have been flagellating themselves in the off-season over the losses. In a high scoring affair The Kingdom of The Misfit managed to pull off the late game score to end in a 2 to 2 tie.

I've always been told I have a “Knockout Personality” Wokka Wokka Wokka (Editor's Note Stimee writes The Recaps)

I've always been told I have a “Knockout Personality” Wokka Wokka Wokka (Editor's Note Stimee writes The Recaps)

The other match-up in Deep Dark saw CommieCozy and his Skaven team Rats off To ya!! take on TheRebelKnight and the returning Loki's Toys. In a match-up featuring av7 taking on av7 one would have though there would be a lot of casualties. One would be wrong! In a match that could be best described as “2-hand touch” Blood Bowl Rats off To Ya!! were able to take advantage of Skaven movement and better positioning to win the match 2 to 1.

City Council-man 1 scoring the first touchdown for Rats Off To Ya!!

City Council-man 1 scoring the first touchdown for Rats Off To Ya!!

Next we move over to the Western Conference where we start off in the Ale and Anarchy division. Our first match was between Midway_Monster01's new necromantic team Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht and SCBare's new Nurgle squad The Cure. In a low scoring, and thoughtful defensive match-up Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht were able to score the game's lone touchdown to win 1 to 0.

Headhunting Werewolves making their presence known.

Headhunting Werewolves making their presence known.

Our other Ale and Anarchy match was between MarioGodzilla's Nekromancie's Folly The winners of The First ever NBP Race Roulette Ruckus and JonnyMal and his returning Springfield Atoms. Nekromancie's Folly won the Race Roulette Ruckus off the strength of their Mighty Blow Piling On Werewolf Amaris The Cursed. After a rough back and forth game Nekromancie's Folly took the match 2 to 1.

Shifty ghoul Spineslicer scored this touchdown shortly before being injured himself.

Shifty ghoul Spineslicer scored this touchdown shortly before being injured himself.

Next up we check in with Salt Works with newcomer Tonsoffun52 and his dark elves The Speedy Demons taking on another coach new to NBP Pro ranks Afrochef82 and his Dark Elf Street Figher Elves. Fans who remember Season 1 will be intimately familiar with the Dark Elf mirror match. In a low scoring game by Elf standards Street Figher Elves lived up to their namesake as they bashed the Speedy Demons off the pitch in a 1 to 0 victory.

Cammy takes out a competing Witch Elf while another looks on.

Cammy takes out a competing Witch Elf while another looks on.

In our other Salt Works match up Dkmx4xBama's new necro squad Underworld: Blood Wars took on Season 2 Champion Dymntd and his returning champion Dumpster Diving Lizards Squad!In a match that featured a Kroxigor ball-carrier The Dumpster Diving Lizards kept up their winning streak from last season defeating UW: Blood Wars 2 to 0.

They Say a Kroxigor with a ball is a lot like a mule with a spinning wheel, nobody knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.

They Say a Kroxigor with a ball is a lot like a mule with a spinning wheel, nobody knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.

Next up take a flight across the pond and check out the action of NBP Europa Conference. First up we check in on the Old World Division where new coach Legendt969 and his Da Wild Tings Orcs took on fellow newcomer Ponghines and his Wood Elves Orion Magics. Da Wild Tings took advantage of their armor and bash superioritiy to put a hurt on Orion Magics and win the match 1 to 0.

Azk scores the games sole touchdown.

Azk scores the games sole touchdown.

Our other Old World match up featured FantasticDRJ and his Dangerous Warriors Chaos team vs Josiah Frost and his returning Pax Romana Lizard Squad. Despite losing to Dumpster Diving Lizards in the Season 2 final some would argue that Pax Romana are as good if not better than their Salt Works Counterparts. Pax Romana returned to their winning ways picking up the victory 2 to 1.

I thought after season 2 we were going to start drug testing these skinks, he is obviously tripping his skink balls off look at those eyes!

I thought after season 2 we were going to start drug testing these skinks, he is obviously tripping his skink balls off look at those eyes!

Finally we stop at Beheaded Kings division where in our first match up new coach DKChams and his High Elf Old Orleans Saints 2 took on Jonah2005uk's Let's Go Beserk!!!! Norse Squad. Jonah2005uk's team went Berserk indeed as Saint after Saint was carted off the Pitch, as Let's Go Beserk!!!! won the match 1 to 0.

One of the many, many injuries to befall The Old Orleans Saints 2.

One of the many, many injuries to befall The Old Orleans Saints 2.

In our last match of the week DoublePastis Kiss of Death Chaos took on Just_Stevie13 and his Rockport Redbacks Human Team. Unfortunately a scheduling conflict from Season 2 prevented Kiss of Death from taking their spot in the playoffs, however they are back and now free of restrictions they looked to pick up right where they left off as they defeated the tenacious Rockport Redbacks 2 to 1.

Rockport Redbacks star Brett Bassaniana goes down for the match.

Rockport Redbacks star Brett Bassaniana goes down for the match.

Well that does it for all the week one matches! Let's head back over to Crypt!

Thank you Ronnie for another action backed recap! Next up we head over to John Maddening as he has the spotlight on the Players of the Week for Week 1! Let's head over to John now!

Thanks Crypt i'm thrilled to be here for another great season of NBP Action! The long time fans know how the Players of the Week segment goes, but for the newcomers let's go over it again. We will pick three players to showcase, one from each conference as well as an overall player of the league from those players. Selection is based upon on field performance as well as SPP earned during the match!

First up we have the award for the Player of The Eastern Conference! The award goes to Strong Bad's Awesome Team featuring Herman Menderchuk's star Beast-man Homestar Runner! Homestar earned the award by scoring two touchdowns in their victory against Stinking Geysers!

Next up for the award for Player of The Week West goes to Ryu from the Street Fighting Elves! Ryu hadokened his way to a whopping 9 SPP from winning the MVP and scoring the game's lone touchdown.

Now the award for Player of The Week Europa goes to Da Wild Tings Orc Tukfak! Who manged 3 casualties in Da Wild Tings mauling of Orion Magics.

Finally we give the award for the Player of the League! With the most overall SPP the award goes to Ryu of Afrochef82's Street Figher Elves!

Is it wrong to consider Ryu the defacto leader of the Street Fighter Elves? I mean we don't have team captains in Blood Bowl but I would imagine he is a leader among The Street Figher Elves.

Is it wrong to consider Ryu the defacto leader of the Street Fighter Elves? I mean we don't have team captains in Blood Bowl but I would imagine he is a leader among The Street Figher Elves.

Well that does it for the Players of the week! Let's check in with Crypt!

Thanks for the report John! A lot of players to watch out for in Season 3! Well we are getting to the shank of the recap here folks, which means it's time to send it over to Howard Co-Hell and the injury report!

Thank you so very much Crypt. Hello again fans this is Howad Co-Hell and I've got for you the first edition of the Season 3 Injury report. I've got all the dirty details. We cover injuries by severity starting with badly hurt, then miss next game, then niggling injury, permanent stat down, and finally death. First we will take a quick break and then Let's take a look at what happened in week one!

It would not be a recap without this photo of cheerleaders.

It would not be a recap without this photo of cheerleaders.

Welcome back fans and let's check out those injuries!

Badly Hurt – Herpes, Pneumonia, and Measles from STD Pros; Brojack Horseman from #Swole; The Poopsmith II from Strong Bad's Awesome Team Featuring Herman Menderchuk; Azhag Goug'Hearts from Stinking Geysers; Sex Machine from Kingdom of The Misfit; Cra'Tigors from The Cure; Spineslicer from Nekromancie's Folly; Tablaen and Lorthrina from Speedy Demons; Gregor and Vincenzo Giovanni from UW:Blood Wars; Faraere, Elvanorvir and Felril from Orion Magics; Saint Orastil and Saint Tharandauil from Old Orleans Saints 2; Ofeigr The Stout from Let's Go Beserk!!!!

MNG – Brospector Gadget from #Swole; Gorfang Goug'Burn from Stinking Geysers; Stan The Boy Taylor and Diamond Joe Quimby from Springfield Atoms; Gerhart The Duster and Thorgrim The Dragonslyer from Nekromancies Folly; Guile from Street Figher Elves; Torwin and Gwythanur from Orion Magics; Brett Bassaniana, Wayne Rango and Alain Armiarma from Rockport Redbacks.

Niggling Injury – Bobby Boucher from Speedy Demons.

Permanent Stat Down – Caelmal from Speedy Demons with armor value down; Saint Alyan and Saint Laerraththor from Old Orleans Saints 2.

Dead – Andnal and H.P. Virus from STD Pros; Pom-pom from Strong Bad's Awesome Team featuirng Herman Menderchuk; Avnaen (Journey elf) from Goth Bondage Party; Bernard Gumbel from Springfield Atoms; Dirtgobbler from UW: Blood Wars; Rakruk from Da Wild Tings; Saint Barranion and Saint Orastien from Old Orleans Saints 2.

Finally to wrap it all up we have the bloodiest game of the week! We had a few good contenders but without a doubt the bloodiest game this week goes to the Old Orleans Saints 2 vs Let's Go Beserk!!!! Featuring a Whopping 7 injuries, including 2 deaths, and 2 permanent stat downs!

I haven't seen so many dead Saints since . . . you know I haven't ever seen so many dead saints.

I haven't seen so many dead Saints since . . . you know I haven't ever seen so many dead saints.

Obviously this was a one-sided bloodiest game. Interesting that Norse have Av7 and High Elves AV8.

Obviously this was a one-sided bloodiest game. Interesting that Norse have Av7 and High Elves AV8.

That does it for the injury report back to you Crypt!

Thank you Howard Co-Hell! Well that does it for the Season 3 Week 1 Edition of Inside The NBP! For Ronnie Rott, John Maddening and Howard Co-Hell I'm Crypt Collinsworth saying thanks for tuning in and remember to Always Praise Nuffle!