Hello fans and blood-thirsty blood bowlers and welcome again to another edition of Inside The NBP, the highest rated weekly wrap-up show for Blood Bowl League Nuffle Be Praised! I'm Crypt Collinsworth your guide to all things NBP. We have all the week 2 match recaps, our spotlight on our players of the week, and of course our injury report and bloodiest game of the week!
I know some of you are dying out there to get to all the week's violent action so let's start off with our week 2 recaps featuring the highest paid correspondent in professional blood bowl Mr. Ronnie Rott! Let's send it over to Ronnie now!
Thank you very much Crypt you are too cruel! However you realize now that you've told everyone how well paid I am Co-Hell will be gunning for my job instead of gunning for yours! But enough of that, it's time for blood bowl! That game of beautiful organized violence that we all obsess over. I've got 12 highlight filled recaps from every week 2 match in Nuffle Be Praised's Pro League!
Let's kick off the recap action with the Eastern Conference's Tar and Feather Division. Our first match featured The STD PROS Nurgle Squad taking on The Stinking Geysers Orc Brigade. Both teams came up short in their respective matches week one and were looking to turn things around in week 2. At the end of the match Stinking Geysers had edged out STD PROS 1 to 0.
Our other match up in Tar and Feather was our Showcase Rivalry Match-up of the week between Strong Bad's Awesome Team featuring Herman Menderchuk and The Boys of #Swole. Our longtime fans will know that this match was a record setting fifth match between The Awesome Team and #Swole. #Swole had absolutely owned the rivalry up to this point with 3 wins and 1 tie. It was obvious from the beginning of the match that Strong Bad's Awesome Team had been waiting a long time to exact revenge on #Swole, and exact revenge they did. Killing Brojo Riley and Troll Slayer Viserys Targaryen enroute to winning the match 2 to 1 and taking first place in Tar and Feather!
Now we move over to Deep Dark where we check in with Kingdom of the Misfit taking on Rats off To Ya!! Kingdom of the Misfit is just the second bretonnian team to be represented in the ranks of NBP Pro taking on just the third ever skaven team to be featured in NBP Pro. In a fast and frenetic match-up the skaven showed why you have to keep track of all 11 players at all times, racking up a 3 to 0 victory against Kingdom of The Misfit to start the season 2 and 0.
Deep Dark's other match up featured Goth Bondage Party taking on Loki's Toys. In a performance uncharacteristic of Goth Bondage Party's Skill; the leather clad boys (and gal) struggled to match up with the Norse players. In what has to be considered an upset Loki's Toys won the match 2 to 0, and with that Goth Bondage Party's Season 3 Struggles Continue.
That does it for the Eastern Conference; next up we head over to The Ale and Anarchy division of The Western Conference. In match one The Cure clashed with Nekromancies Folly. In a defensive and tactical affair characteristic of a battle with Nurgle, Nekromancies Folly were finally able to find an opening to score and win the match 1 to 0 and with it their second win in as many weeks.
Our second match-up of Ale and Anarchy was between Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht and Springfield Atoms. The woes continued for the Atoms as they struggled to right the team and get back to their winning ways as they ran into a buzzsaw named Maus Fang that helped propel Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht to a 3 to 0 victory.
Now we head over to Salt Warks in The Western Conference where in our first match Street Fighter Elves took on Underworld:Blood Wars. After their impressive showing in week 1 Street Fighter Elves continued their dominant performance handing the necromantic UW:Blood Wars a 3 to 1 loss.
In our last match up of the Western Conference Speedy Demons battled with season 2 champion Dumpster Diving Lizards. In a brisk contest Dumpster Diving Lizards took control early and extended their incredible win streak winning 2 to 0.
We are finished with the Western Conference so that of course leaves only NBP Europa Conference where first we check in with The Old World Division where in our first match up Orion Magics took on Dangerous Warriors. After having a rough week one casualty wise The Magics were looking to minimize the hits to their squad, of course Dangerous Warriors had other things in mind. Though Orion Magics won the match 3 to 1, they suffered a costly two deaths.
Next up we have match up between Da wild tings and season two runner up Pax Romana. The Orcs looked to bully their presence on the pitch; however their black orcs proved no match for Pax Romana's withering Saurus forces as Pax Romana defeated Da wild tings 2 to 0.
Lastly we have our Beheaded Kings Division with our firs tmatch up between The Old Orleans Saints #2 and The Rockport Redbacks. Week one proved to be devastating to the health of The Saints bench. They could ill afford another performance but they also needed to win this match to keep up pace in the division. The Rockport Redbacks for their part are looking to show they are better then their season 2 record. In our highest scoring game of the week Old Orleans Saints squeaked by with final possession winning the match 3 to 2 over Rockport Redbacks.
Our final match up of the week featured Let's Go Beserk!!!! and Kiss of Death. After picking up the win week one Let's Go Beserk looked to extend their victory, however they ran headlong into Kiss of Death, who are on something of a win streak themselves. After many harsh words and face punches Kiss of Death won the day with the 1 to 0 victory.
That does it for this weeks recaps, talk about action! Alot of contenders emerging early in Season 2! we have Strong Bad's Awesome Team and Rats off To Ya!! in the East. Nekromancies Folly,Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht, Street Figher Elves and Of Course Dumpster Diving Lizards in the West. Pax Romana and Kiss of Death in Europa. Of course its far too early for anything like that and anyone who speculated surely would incur Nuffle's Wrath. Let's send it back over to Crypt!
What a slaughterific wrap up Ronnie! I know I'm not the only one looking forward to all of Week 3's match ups! But before we can get to week threes match ups we have week 2's Players of The Week with John Maddening! We are going to take a quick break and when we come back we will send it over to John Maddening!
Welcome back fans John Maddening here with the Nuffle Be Praised Inside The NBP Players of the Week! As usual we've got the best players of the East, West and Europa and the best player of of those three for the overall player of the week. The selection criteria is based on overall SPP and on-field performance.
First up we have Player of the Week Eastern Conference, and it looks like folks this week Homestar Runner (Beast-Man) has won the award back to back putting in another 2 touchdown 6 SPP performance in Strong Bad's Awesome Team's victory against #Swole.
For the winner Player of The Week West we had many great choices to pick from, but ultimately this candidate stood head and claws above the rest as the award goes to Maus Fang of Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht with a whopping 7 SPP!
Now we have the Player of the Week Europa and the award goes to Orion Magics Zesinil! Zesinil earned the honors by scoring 2 touchdowns in The Magics win over Dangerous Warriors.
Finally we give the award for Player of The League Week 2! This week the award goes to Maus Fang! Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht's vicious Werewolf, who 7 total SPP earned without anMVP was far and away the most impressive performance of week 2.
Let's give it up again for our players of the week and let's send it back over to Crypt!
Thank you John! What a beguiling bunch of bruisers who won awards this week! Well folks we are just about ready to wrap up week two here, let's send it over to our final correspondent Howard Co-Hell
with our injury report and the bloodiest game of the week!
I'd like to say thank you Crypt but I just found ou that Ronnie Rott is the highest paid broadcast journalist in all of blood bowl! I find this unacceptable! I dont care how many pukitzerss he has I've been here since day one if it's anyone who should be highest paid its me! Well let's get to the injury report, remember its badly hurt, then miss next game, then niggling injury, then permanent stat down and then of course DEATH. Let's take a look at week 2!
Badly Hurt – Galnak Tear-Calf of Stinking Geysers; Feel of Flesh and Commie's Left Butt Cheek from Kingdom of The Misfit; City Councilman #2 from Rats off To Ya!! Homer Simpson and Edwin Advor (Journeyman) from Springfield Atoms; Spitznogle and BlutSauger from Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht; Vincenzo Giovanni from UW: Blood Wars; Treasure Hunter From Dumpster Diving Lizards; Elbrior and Shane Falcom from Speedy Demons; Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman from Dangerous Warriors;Klitz of Pahualaxa (journey-skink) from Pax Romana; Saint Orasiten and Saint Simenion from Old Orleans Saints 2; Ag Sveinsson from Let's Go Beserk.
MNG – Hong Kong Flue from STD PROS; Phil Prebscott from Rats off To Ya!!; Dislocate Arms for Study and Talks with Puns from Kingdom of The Misfit; Lorundoddr from Loki's Toys; Ugroth Smash'Eyez from Da wild tings.
Niggling Injury – Brojack Horseman from #Swole.
Permanent Stat Down – Bubz from Strong Bad's Awesome Team with Armor Down; Marius from UW: Blood Wars with Movment Down; Slouk'gor from Kiss of Death with movement down.
Death – Brojo Riley and Viserys Targaryen from #Swole; Mysterious Drifter from Rats off To Ya!!; Shari Thorn from The Cure; Cazlow from Das Slaytanic Wehrmacht; Felril and Faraere from Orion Magics; Ofelgr The Stout from Let's Go Beserk!!!!
That does it for the injury report now we give the award for bloodiest game of the week! Though we did not have many choices for bloodiest game ultimatley we selected the Rats off To Ya vs Kingdom of The Misfit match which featured 7 injuries including a death, and three missed next games! Do I since the beggingings of a rivalry?
That does it for the injury report back to you Crypt!
Thanks Howard well folks that does it for another edition of Inside The NBP, for Ronnie Rott, John Maddening and Howard Co-Hell I'm Crypt Collinsworth saying thanks for tuning in and Remember to Always Praise Nuffle!